South Africa checks in. "Safe sex" should be your mantra during an affair, and here's why. But there's an interesting analysis of primary and secondary relationships, the drive for which is at the heart of the adulterous urge.

http://www.plusnews.org/PrintReport.aspx?ReportId=78602

Understanding Infidelity - Plus News

CAPE TOWN, 5 June 2008 (PlusNews) - "Multiple, concurrent partnerships" has become the latest catchphrase in the HIV/AIDS lexicon. It refers to the practice of having more than one sexual partner at the same time, which experts say is a key driver of Southern Africa's devastating HIV/AIDS epidemic.

In a South African population-based survey in 2005, 40 percent of men and 25 percent of women aged between 15 and 24 reported having concurrent partners. To try and understand why, the Soul City Institute for Health and Development Communication, a multimedia health promotion project, conducted research to find out how South Africans actually view these relationships.

Prof Sue Goldstein, a researcher at Soul City, presented the findings from focus groups of men and women across the country to delegates at the 4th Public Health Association of South Africa conference in Cape Town this week.

"Multiple, concurrent partnerships appear to be the accepted norm in many South African communities," she said. The attitudes and beliefs that perpetuated this norm were "astonishingly similar" across rural and urban divides, and even to those found in similar studies in other countries of the region.

A significant other

Both men and women talked of a primary, long-term relationship based on love, and of secondary relationships that fulfilled other needs. In the case of women the need was often financial, but sometimes it was sexual.

"You know if someone is boring in the bedroom, and you know when you have met someone who hits the spot," said one woman who participated in a focus group in rural KwaZulu-Natal Province. "You carry on with the other one if he gives you other things, but you know that he just doesn't do it for you sexually."

The men blamed their wandering eyes on regular partners letting their looks go, and being attracted to younger, "fresher" women who were less likely to challenge their authority. They tended to trust that their primary partners were faithful and didn't use condoms with them, even if they sometimes had unprotected sex with other women.

The women often viewed a partner's infidelity as a "natural" and unavoidable cause of men's uncontrollable sexual desires, and cultural expectations that they should have more than one partner. Some ignored infidelity because they did not want to break up their families; others took lovers of their own.

"I do my own thing and 'phone my "makhwapheni" [local term for someone who is hidden - a boyfriend] and laugh; then I won't worry about [her husband's]late-coming," said a woman in the Free State.

Many of the men spoke of their sexual desires being fuelled by alcohol, which also made them less likely to practice safe sex. Peer pressure was another major reason men gave for having multiple partners: "If I don't have sex then my friends will laugh at me. In that way, I will try to prove a point and get involved with more than one," said a man in the rural northern Limpopo Province.

The urge

Both genders described sex as a vital component of their relationships and their lives generally, with some even viewing it as essential for good health. Despite this, men as well as women had great difficulty communicating with their partners about sex.

Most of the focus group participants had a good knowledge and understanding of HIV and AIDS, but this did not prevent them from having a fatalistic attitude to the likelihood of becoming infected. "They say even if you do not ever get AIDS, the fact is, you are still going to die; we are all going to die one day," said a teenage girl in the Free State.

Goldstein concluded that risky sexual practices were not related to levels of knowledge, but to the level of control individuals have over their sexuality.

As one woman put it: "Even if you are faithful to your husband, you cannot guarantee that you will not be infected because you don't know what your husband does, and he could be infected during his outings. All you could do is to pray, and trust that God will protect you because he is the doctor of all diseases."

Soul City aims to incorporate the findings into a new five-year HIV prevention campaign.

ks/he/oa

from the NY Post...

STRAYING DOGS

NY MEN TWICE AS LIKELY AS GALS TO CHEAT

By DAVID K. LI

May 19, 2008 -- More than one-quarter of New York men have been unfaithful - double the infidelity rate of Big Apple women, a new report reveals.

A poll conducted for New York magazine showed that 28 percent of Gotham men - who are either married or in a committed relationship - have strayed from their partners, compared to 12 percent of girlfriends and wives.

Women are more afraid of getting caught than men, according to the poll.

While 30 percent of men said they'd still cheat even if their affairs might be revealed, only 12 percent of women said they'd stray under the threat of being caught.

The magazine's poll and accompanying story were sparked by the prostitution scandal that drove ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer from office.

The survey, conducted by Global Strategy Group, polled 401 New Yorkers in all five boroughs. The margin of error was 4.9 percent.

Asked if they'd forgive a cheating partner, men and women were equally apt to issue marital pardons - men would forgive at a 53 percent clip, women at 48 percent.

New Yorkers are not really eager to find out if their partners are scoring on the side, according to the poll.

Only 14 percent said they've checked their partner's e-mail, 6 percent reported they've followed a suspected cheating heart, and just 1 percent admitted to hiring a private eye.

Meanwhile, the notorious seven-year itch is providing a temptation to scratch for more and more married couples, a relationship and sex author told the magazine.

"Marriage can be very satisfying, but it's not going to be this heady romance for 40 years," said Susan Squire, author of the upcoming historical look at marriage, "I Don't."

"Marriage has many benefits and values, but eroticism is not one of them."

Despite the desire of many men to stray, lifting society's puritanical barrier against extramarital affairs might not be the best answer, either.

"We understand that infidelity is a great source of stress and conflict and causes a lot of marriages to break up when discovered," University of Texas psychology Professor David Buss, a frequent author on issues of sex in society, told the mag.

"It causes a great deal of anguish. The Jimmy Carter model might be better: Lust in their hearts."

Self-professed cheater looking to right his wrongs...what are the chances that ol' Dean got caught, can't get out of his marriage without giving away half of everything he owes and is trying to make a buck of making the best of it? Just askin'.

Signs-of-a-cheater.com Announces Its Plan to Help Those Affected By Infidelity

HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA April 09, 2008 Lifestyle News

(PRLEAP.COM) Dean Osborne is a self professed reformed cheater looking to right his wrongs. Signs-of-a-cheater.com was formed little over six months ago with one thing in mind. To help those that are going through the mental anguish of the thought of being cheated on, or others enduring the painful realization that they were cheated on.

There are a lot of sites today that cater to those looking for relationship advice, but only a few that completely devote its content to helping those hurting because of cheating or infidelity.

"It is unfortunate that the website is getting so many hits; because it can only mean one thing and that there is a lot of cheating going on. My goal is to help as many people as possible through my website. Its personal, but more importantly its real", said Dean Osborne.

The core and main focus of the website is exposing the signs of a cheater and pointing out many of the tactics that a cheater will use to cover their tracks. Suspect your cheating husband or wife? This website will bring to light what they don’t want you to find out. (Be careful out there, people!)

"We chose not to directly call out any sole individual that is cheating, but rather to help others make informed decisions about their relationship when it comes to cheating. You will not see any names of an actual cheater other than me" said Dean jokingly.

Signs-of-a-cheater encourages its visitors to contribute to the content of the website. They get a chance to add feedback to others going through difficult times because of infidelity.

Visit us at www.signs-of-a-cheater.com to join a community that is against cheating. We welcome your feed back on what we can add to our website.

Elliot Spitzer - truly the gift that keeps on giving, not to mention being an idiot. But the issue here is not his infidelity - he's been married, what 23 years? And has three daughters? Few men could tolerate living in that sort of environment indefinitely! And Dr. Laura could well be right. Who knows if "Silda" (there's a name for the ages - thanks, Dad) has been cutting him off or ignoring him sexually? The fact that the daughters go to private school in New York City certainly doesn't indicate that Spitzer and his wife have even been living together for the last few months, unless Spitzer is pulling the Arnie route and "commuting" in his Gulfstream (yeah, another "man of the people.")

No, the issue is that, like all too many lawyers, Spitzer considers himself better than the rest of us and above the laws that the rest of us are supposed to adhere to. He also took an oath when he was sworn in as a lawyer (not to mention as Governor) saying that he would uphold the laws of New York State and the United States of America. He didn't, so screw him!
From "LiveScience":

Surviving Infidelity: What Wives Do When Men Cheat

By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer

posted: 14 March 2008 01:30 pm ET

New York State Gov. Eliot Spitzer is joined by his wife Silda as he makes a statement to reporters during a news conference Monday, March 10, 2008 in New York. Credit: AP Photo/Mary Altaffer.

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New York State Gov. Eliot Spitzer is joined by his wife Silda as he makes a statement to reporters during a news conference Monday, March 10, 2008 in New York. Credit: AP Photo/Mary Altaffer.

Dressed in a black suit with a subdued silk scarf, Silda Wall Spitzer stood by her husband, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer as he announced his resignation to a room full of reporters. When the cameras stopped flashing, however, a husband and wife were left to deal with an alleged violation of marriage and above all, busted trust.

Gov. Spitzer has referred publicly to the alleged infidelity as a "private matter," but the experience is rooted in human behavior and family sociology. That means social scientists can to some extent get into the minds of the parties involved.

So, whether or not Silda Spitzer stays by her husband's side, she is likely considering a divorce, as most women in this situation would, sociologists and other experts told LiveScience.

Gov. Spitzer, 48, allegedly paid $4,300 for a prostitute to commute from New York to Washington, D.C., and meet him at a hotel there last month. News reports state Spitzer was tracked with court-ordered wiretaps. Spitzer was a repeat call-girl customer known as "Client 9," according to The New York Times.

"Some sociologists have argued that 'being faithful' is the central, defining norm of marriage," said Paul Amato, a professor of sociology at Penn State. "Although marriage implies multiple obligations, the obligation to be sexually faithful to one's spouse seems to carry the most weight."

He added, "In fact, infidelity is the marital problem most likely to lead to divorce."

Even so, Silda and Eliot could stay together. "After all you have Hillary and Bill [Clinton], and what hasn't Bill done to Hillary. Everything that could be done to a woman to humiliate and hurt her emotionally and a family, Bill has done," said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "And yet Hillary and Bill have a tight connection that overcomes just about everything, maybe not anger and at some deeper level even hatred. But the attachment and the commitment seem to be inviolable."

When it comes to infidelity, research shows that men are motivated primarily by the lure of sex, while women trek outside the marriage due to emotional neglect and the need for emotional intimacy.

Though more men than women cheat, infidelity is on the rise among both in recent decades. For men and women, the ease of travel to cities where they are anonymous could partially explain the increase. And more and more women are less dependent on their husbands for financial and other stability, so there's less at stake if she does get caught.

Who cheats and why

The Spitzers are far from alone when it comes to fidelity issues. The prevalence of marital infidelity and extramarital sex varies widely depending on the definition of infidelity used and the survey referenced, ranging from about 10 percent of couples to more than half.

A 1994 study by sociologist Edward Lauman found that 10 percent to 11 percent of spouses had cheated in the prior year. Over a lifetime, that study revealed about 18 percent of women and 24 percent of men reported an extramarital affair.

While Americans have become much more accepting of premarital sex during the past several decades, they still view extramarital sex as somewhat intolerable, Amato said.

A 2006 Pew Research Center survey of U.S. adults revealed that nearly 90 percent of participants said it is morally wrong for married individuals to have an affair, which may or may not involve sex. About the same percentage said adultery is morally wrong.

That's one reason "it really shakes up a marriage," Amato said.

Will she leave him?

When deciding whether to go the divorce route or follow the winding roads of marriage-repair, many factors come into play. In addition to cheating for different reasons, men and women react differently to an unfaithful spouse.

"Typical reactions from both sexes include becoming enraged, sad, humiliated, and depressed," said David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. "There are large individual differences within each sex; men tend to focus more heavily on the sexual aspects of the infidelity; women more on the emotional aspects."

These differences may have deep evolutionary roots. "From a man's perspective, sexual infidelity historically jeopardized his paternity certainty -- 'mama's baby, papa's maybe,'" Buss said. "Male sexual jealousy is, among other things, an adaptation designed to solve the problem of genetic cuckoldry."

Women, on the other hand, are 100-percent certain they are the mothers of their children. And the most upsetting acts of infidelity from a female perspective involve the emotional ties their husbands may have formed with the significant or insignificant others. They are more likely to forgive their husbands if the affair "meant nothing" and involved no emotional intimacy. Overall, women are more likely than men to forgive a cheating spouse.

"So one-night stands and use of prostitutes is less threatening than is a long-term, emotionally bonded extramarital relationship," Amato told LiveScience. "Wives are more likely to forgive their husbands if their husbands were not 'in love' with the other woman."

Amato said men are not as concerned about the emotional connection between their wives and the third party. Even still, husbands "don't want their wives fooling around under any circumstances," Amato said.

Women also tend to take the family into account when pondering a split-up.

"Women are more likely to take into account their children, their economics, their general survival," Schwartz said. "Men are just crushed or upset about what happened to them. They won't think as quickly about their children as the first or second issue; but they will eventually consider that." She added that men generally experience a flooding of anger over the violation.

That rise in blood pressure could result from a guy's perception of cheating as something done to him more than something done to the relationship.

"Men are less willing to forgive," said Ruth Houston, founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs." She added, "Men view infidelity as a statement about their manhood, so it's such an affront to him that most men cannot get over this hurdle."

Practical concerns can also steer a woman in one direction or the other.

"Wives are also less likely to consider divorce if they are economically dependent on their husbands, have children or hold strong religious views," Amato said. "Nevertheless, most wives at least consider the option of divorce. And, in fact, infidelity is the marital problem most likely to lead to divorce."

The public eye

While such a transgression would rattle any relationship, those in the public eye — as in the Spitzer case — get a Hollywood dose of the marital misdemeanors.

"Many find the public humiliation the most upsetting aspect of a spouse's infidelity," Buss said. "When's it's played out in the media, as in the Spitzer case, Silda Spitzer must be going through psychological hell."

Schwartz agrees, and adds the amount of money that reportedly supported Spitzer's alleged call-girl habit makes this an "extreme situation" of public humiliation.

"There's also the question of whether she [Silda Spitzer] loved him and he loved her. We don't know that. If she did truly love him and he did truly love her but has a narcissistic problem, she may forgive him. All that said, she may go on and be with him," Schwartz said.

Trust time

No surprise — trust is damaged deeply after infidelity is out in the open.

"After the incident comes to light, husbands as well as wives are less happy with their marriages, report more marital conflict, experience elevated levels of psychological distress and increase their thoughts of divorce," Amato said.

"Many spouses never fully recover from their feelings of betrayal and anger, even if they stay together," he said. "Counseling can help, however, and some couples eventually manage to repair their relationships."

Couples should expect a lengthy process, as no quick-fix exists.

"Re-establishing trust takes time, of course," Amato said, "but if both spouses sincerely want the marriage to continue and are willing to work on it, then it is possible to have a healthy relationship again."

One recent study found that most couples stayed together after an incident of infidelity.

"Sometimes it's a real wake-up call for the relationship," Schwartz said in a telephone interview. "They have no excuses, but they realize they really have something they want to protect and they really commit themselves to it."

Relationship (emotional) recovery

For couples on the journey of patching up their relationships, Candyce Russell, a licensed family therapist, points out the importance of understanding the emotions following infidelity.

In her research, Russell found three emotional stages will follow an incident of infidelity:

Stage one (roller-coaster): a time filled with strong emotions, ranging from anger and self-blame to periods of introspection and appreciation for the relationship.

Stage two (moratorium): a less emotional period in which the cheated-on spouse tries to make sense of the infidelity, obsesses about details of the affair, retreats physically and emotionally from the relationship, and reaches out to others for help.

Stage three (trust-building): for couples who decided they wanted to stay together and make their marriage work.

"In the trust-building stage, showing commitment to the relationship was most important for injured parties to begin forgiving and building trust," Russell said.

Rule #1, Governor, is "Don't get caught." :)

Prostitution advances in a wired world

By HILLARY RHODES, Associated Press WriterWed Mar 12, 11:09 AM ET

It may be the world's oldest profession, but prostitution is using some 21st-century tricks.

The prostitution scandal involving New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer lays bare some of the inner workings of modern-day sex work: text messaging to clock in the client, electronic fund transfers, a Web site featuring color photos, prices and rankings.

There's always been a distinction between indoor and street-level prostitution, and advances in technology have increasingly separated the two, said Ronald Weitzer, author of "Sex for Sale: Prostitution, Pornography and the Sex Industry."

Not only can prostitutes and escort services now run more efficient businesses, but they can leverage word-of-mouth advertising in new ways to build their brands and troll for clients. Online social communities built around the escort and sex worker industries can solidify customer loyalty.

"It's commercial, but it's also social, so people do really form relationships," says Audacia Ray, author of "Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration" and a former sex worker.

"Clients become buddies," she said.

There are a host of online message boards where clients or potential clients can discuss, rate and exchange information about individual women.

A recent rating of one woman on the escort-review site http://www.bigdoggie.com reads: "She is the real deal. She's bright, funny, enthusiastic, beautiful, flawless body, really loves what she does."

Another woman got a bad review — not for her physical shortcomings, but for her communications etiquette: "... didn't return calls or e-mails. Irresponsible."

Such sites are natural places for escorts or prostitutes to advertise, linking to their own Web sites, a technique many sex workers use, Ray said.

Technology also eases the business-end of things, Weitzer says. While clients are surveying potential companions, escort-service managers can look into clients with a background check or even a simple Google search.

Payment is easier, too.

"It's often convenient to have an account established with a balance, so if you have the last-minute urge, you don't have to worry about getting money into the account," says Norma Jean Almodovar, executive director of the sex workers' rights organization COYOTE ("Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics") in Southern California.

Emperors Club VIP, the high-end prostitution organization Spitzer allegedly was involved with, was brought down when banks noticed frequent cash transfers from several accounts and filed suspicious-activity reports with the Internal Revenue Service, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press.

The accounts were traced back to Spitzer, and public-corruption investigators opened an inquiry.

It's a long way from leaving cash on the dresser.

Cell phones are handy, too. According to court documents, some details of the alleged appointment Spitzer had with a prostitute were arranged via text message. She was even instructed by her home office to send a text message when he arrived so the office could start the clock ticking on his allotted time, according to court papers.

Devices such as Web cams also have created new opportunities, Almodovar said.

For instance, if a customer is traveling and wants to talk with a prostitute, "he can just go on the Internet and she can be in her home, and he can be in Europe, and they can have long-distance sexual dalliances," Almodovar said.

But even with so much electronic evidence, authorities permit a lot of prostitution to happen without repercussions.

"On the one hand, they're advertised, openly. So you know it exists, and you're letting it go. But then they're not taxed, or prosecuted, unless it becomes a quality-of-life issue or (involves) a public figure they happen to run across. Think of all that cash," said Assistant Philadelphia District Attorney Rich DeSipio, who is assigned to the sex-crimes unit.

And sex workers also can use high-tech measures to avoid getting caught.

High-end call girls might use bug- and camera-detection equipment to look for surveillance devices, said Jimmie Mesis, editor in chief of Professional Investigator Magazine.

Police often don't find the equipment until after they make an arrest, Mesis said. "They realize, 'Look at this. She has a bug detector. She has a hidden-camera detector. This is a pretty sophisticated set-up here.'"

But for every client who is revealed, no one knows how much prostitution remains hidden.

"The surprise should not be that (Spitzer) was a client, but that he got exposed," Almodovar said. "Despite the technology we have, 99 percent of them will never get discovered.

"If we didn't have so many clients, we wouldn't be prostitutes."

___

Now this is fun...hypocrisy will out.

Spitzer Gets Spitzered

How Spitzer was brought down by the kind of investigation he pioneered.

Daniel Gross

Newsweek Web Exclusive

The stock market may be battered, the dollar may be plunging, and the economy may be tanking, but there's a bull market in schadenfreude on Wall Street this afternoon. Even as the Dow was on its way to notching another triple-digit loss, whoops of joy erupted from the dispirited trading floors today on news of New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's disgrace. Spitzer, who rose to prominence as a scourge of Wall Street, uprooting corrupt practices, coming down hard on bad actors and establishing a new moral order, was laid low by reports that he had been involved in a prostitution ring.

Details are still emerging, and it's unclear how this will all shake out, but one thing is immediately clear: Spitzer has been hoisted on his own petard, brought down by the same kind of investigation he pioneered as a prosecutor. The analogies between Wall Street and prostitution aren't perfect. (On Wall Street, for example, the transactions involving favors for money are generally conducted when both parties are fully clothed.) But he may have fallen prey to the same types of circumstances and dynamics that led to his astonishing rise.

The unnecessary digital trail. Among Spitzer's biggest triumphs as New York attorney general was the investment banking research cases, in which he bludgeoned Wall Street's biggest banks into an expensive settlement of charges that they pimped out research recommendations in exchange for banking fees. The smoking gun: incriminating e-mails from analysts. Of all people, Spitzer should know that whether you're prostituting out investment analysis for the sake of banking fees or you're a governor using the services of expensive prostitutes, discretion is a paramount value. The first and last rule is not to create a paper trail—or, in this age, a digital trail—that can come back to haunt you. But he was reportedly caught on wiretaps discussing bringing a prostitute to Washington to meet him at a hotel.

Everybody does it, right? Many of the Wall Street figures Spitzer nailed were engaging in activities that looked skeevy when exposed to the public but were generally well known and accepted by the powers that be. Until Spitzer, investment banks giving buy ratings to their investment banking clients and spinning shares of hot IPOs to the personal accounts of executives who funneled investment banking fees their way were common practices at Wall Street's top firms. The executives nailed by Spitzer thought they were engaging in routine activity and never thought they could be indicted for it. The same holds, to a different degree, with high-end prostitution. In New York high-end prostitution is widely acknowledged and generally tolerated, though heavily cloaked in euphemism. Ads for high-end escort services fill respectable publications like New York magazine. Fancy gentlemen's clubs and strip joints (where all sorts of services are available upon negotiation or request) operate with full sanction of the law. Comparatively few of those involved in it are arrested, and the johns are almost never prosecuted. Spitzer likely thought that he too was engaging in a practice common among men of his social and economic class, and that the likelihood of prosecution was exceedingly low.

The law is an ass. Wall Street executives who ran afoul of Eliot Spitzer earlier this decade found they were in deep trouble because of a peculiar wrinkle in the law. They found their options limited because they happened to conduct their business in New York. Spitzer had at his disposal the Martin Act, a 1921 piece of legislation that, as Nicholas Thompson noted in this Legal Affairs piece, gives extraordinary powers and discretion to an attorney general fighting financial fraud. Thompson noted that "people called in for questioning during Martin Act investigations do not have a right to counsel or a right against self-incrimination. Combined, the act's powers exceed those given any regulator in any other state." In Spitzer's case, he may have landed in water that was hotter than it might have otherwise been because he decided to do some of his business in Washington, D.C. (on the night before Valentine's Day, no less). By allegedly arranging for a prostitute to travel across state lines from New York to Washington, D.C., Spitzer may have bumped up his indiscretions from a violation of state to a violation of federal law—a much more serious matter.

After-hours trading. One of Spitzer's signature crusades as attorney general was unearthing the scandals of late trading—in which mutual funds would allow favored clients (usually hedge funds) to enter and exit rapidly on terms not available to retail investors. When that happened, Spitzer demanded that the executives responsible, among them Richard Strong, founder and chairman of Strong Capital Management, resign and face lifetime bans from the industry. Now that he's apparently been caught trading illicitly after hours, the top executive of the state of New York may be forced to resign and accept a lifetime ban from his industry.

Housewife's explicit blog gets 340,000 hits

Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The China Post news staff

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- A Taipei County woman now known as "Beibei, the Lusty Housewife," posted revealing photographs of herself on a blog site titled "The Lusty World of a 28-Year-Old Housewife" last month, along with alleged stories of her extramarital adventures, so far attracting over 340,000 "hits," or views.

In an interview with Taiwan media, Beibei was quoted as stating that "adultery is fun, stimulating and makes me feel just the same way as any man committing the same act."

The blog recounts Beibei's experiences of inviting men she met over the Internet to go out while her husband was out at work, caressing, kissing and having intercourse in the stairway leading up to her apartment.

One story tells of her husband inviting a co-worker over to their apartment. When the husband left to buy food and pick up their son, the co-worker began to make advances towards Beibei in the kitchen, which were interrupted by the returning husband and their four-year-old child. When her husband asked them what they were doing, Beibei replied that she was showing his friend around their home.

Due to being "someone's wife," Beibei has captivated the short attention span of the Taiwanese media, making the first page of yesterday's edition of "The Apple Daily," a Hong Kong-based newspaper.

According to Apple Daily, Beibei closed her blog after agreeing to an interview with the daily, while questioning "How can you expect someone to be satisfied if they have to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life?"

After being married five years, Beibei sees her sexual life as nothing to complain about, but the mother still finds her life lacks the stimulation achieved through committing adultery, since it is associated with such heavy taboos.

According to the interview, every one of Beibei's extra-marital experiences with 30 different partners was documented on the blog site, in the hope that she can look back in her old age at a time that was exciting and full of good memories.

Her previous partners include company managers, co-workers, people met over the Internet, and also friends of her husband. According to reporter Wang Chao-bin, Beibei suddenly asked him, "You're so curious about me, how about we have sex while you interview me? I've never slept with a journalist before." Wang alleges to have tried to change the subject while spending the rest of the interview feeling embarrassed.

The attention brought by the story toward society's view of adulterous women as opposed to adulterous men has incited new debate over whether it is more unacceptable if a woman commits adultery than if it is instigated by a male.